Reflections

I find myself unable to sleep much these days. I am easily excitable and I don't slow down much. My head is full of schedules and "to do" lists. I am constantly on the go, running around trying to finish things up, but strangely, I am not stressed. I feel like I should be, like somehow something is desperately wrong with me since I am not about to have a nervous breakdown. It's like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, knowing that one of these days I will completely freak out and it will all come crashing down on me.

I find myself staring off into space, imagining everything from the ceremony to the reception to, well lets face it, the wedding night. I am imagining the honeymoon, coming back to work after it is all over, the moving preparations and the first night in our new home. It is strange to think that all of these things will be happening in the next month. How completely my life has changed from the time I spent in Portland.

I went from big city girl to homebody in three short years. The transition was such that I didn't even notice it. Sure, the move was an obvious part of it, but the physical transition is unimportant. My desires and dreams have changed. My goals and needs are different. Most of all, my perception of myself has finally become something positive and pure.

It's amazing when you look back on a period of time in your life to see the changing and growing you have done. The way the Lord leads your life to where you need to be.

I am grateful for that.