My *ahem* starter kit

***An official warning this one might be a bit over the edge***

***Proceed with caution***

I was greeted at my office door by a smiling employee/friend.

I have your bridal shower gifts

she said with a mischevious smile. I raised my eyebrows with the thought of the many different directions this could take. She ran out to her car to get them and returned with three wicker baskets, each containing multiple brightly wrapped items. She ushered me into my office and closed the door with a wicked smile on her face.

I knew right then I was in trouble.

She handed me a type written letter and explained that I had to read it aloud and it would instruct me which gift to open. She clasped her hands together in anticipation.

Dear Kristi

The key to a good marriage is organization.

Huh?

Some people think it should be all
romantic and adventurous;
however there will always
be time for cuddling (1)...

I paused.

She nudged the gift with a black 1

written on the wrapping paper toward me.

I opened it to find

a snuggly cream colored knit blanket.

Cool. This might not be so bad!

...and all of that other stuff...
the happiest marriage is a result of organization,
primarily in the bedroom.

Uh Oh.

Now as a warning there will be nights when war movies
and computer games will be more interesting to him than you,
which will provide you with the perfect opportunity to
brush up on your literature (2)(3).

She handed me packages

numbering two and three

and I slowly unwrapped them,

wondering at my fate.

I opened them to find a book

on Kama Sutra (um yikes!)

and another on um, hints and tips...

Anyway, the letter went on and on to number 12 with all sorts of, um, honeymoon necessities the details of which I will spare you of. Needless to say, I was rather embarrassed (read: mortified) with her little array of items, some of which I didn't even know existed!

Now that I think about it, I am rather relieved that she didn't show up to the bridal shower, where all of my church friends were. If it is possible, that would have been worse...

Reflections

I find myself unable to sleep much these days. I am easily excitable and I don't slow down much. My head is full of schedules and "to do" lists. I am constantly on the go, running around trying to finish things up, but strangely, I am not stressed. I feel like I should be, like somehow something is desperately wrong with me since I am not about to have a nervous breakdown. It's like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, knowing that one of these days I will completely freak out and it will all come crashing down on me.

I find myself staring off into space, imagining everything from the ceremony to the reception to, well lets face it, the wedding night. I am imagining the honeymoon, coming back to work after it is all over, the moving preparations and the first night in our new home. It is strange to think that all of these things will be happening in the next month. How completely my life has changed from the time I spent in Portland.

I went from big city girl to homebody in three short years. The transition was such that I didn't even notice it. Sure, the move was an obvious part of it, but the physical transition is unimportant. My desires and dreams have changed. My goals and needs are different. Most of all, my perception of myself has finally become something positive and pure.

It's amazing when you look back on a period of time in your life to see the changing and growing you have done. The way the Lord leads your life to where you need to be.

I am grateful for that.

A short post

I haven't the time for you today blog.

I am much too busy with other things.

I have numerous phone calls to make.

I have errands to run and jewelry to buy.

I simply must find the finishing touches for my darling Scotland's boutonniere

and I have to run to Macys to get something racy for my honeymoon.

Ohhh. Racy Macy. I like it.



I am far too busy to post today blog.

I have an appointment with the sun gods.

Because I need to have gloriously golden skin for my wedding.

Doesn't everyone?



I can't blog today. I just can't.

Scotland is requesting my presence for some house signing somethingorother.

I don't know what, I just smile, and sign where he tells me to.



So you see, I can't post. I mustn't.

*Sigh*

Although I want to...

Shhhhh....

Don't tell Scott...

But I have my dress!!!!!

Just for fun

because I finally figured out how to get pictures from the digital camera on to my work computer (serious compatibility problems I tell you!)

Marriage Certificate, all ready to go!

My decorations and inspirations!

Scotland, in tails...

and in a vest!

Bridal Shower Pictures

From the left, Christine, Rachel, Nadia with baby Shannon, and Kari

From the left, Amanda, Nancy, Lydia, standing up Megan with baby Finn, Paula, Ladonna, Wilma (who you can't see) Kari and the tip of Vickie's nose.



My mother's marital advice:

More decorations on the garage

A slightly blurry picture of Jodi, Jami, and Christine

My mom in action plus Rachel and Nadia

Me, exhausted on the drive home with a car full of balloons.

What a party!

Just a fool...

Last night I made about a brazillion crepes for the reception. I was a crepe making fool! And after all that hard work, I am only half done. Tonight I plan on stuffing all of those babies with cream cheese and fresh strawberries and wrapping them in their own little paper case to be frozen until the big day... Maaahhhhvelous....

Amidst the madness, Scotland and I stopped by to see a few friends last night. They are all doing so wonderfully, Ashley is engaged and through the roof happy, Katie and Perry are basking in the newlywed glow, and Kali is perfectly pregnant with twins. I was so happy to see all of them, each with their own happy stage of life and it reminded me how happy I am too...I am an almost married blissfully happy fool!

Today I am still feeling a little bit sick from how many crepes I ate last night... I had heart burn in the middle of the night and so I woke up to take something for it, and then I couldn't get back to sleep for forever.

My mind was jumping from events and lists to flowers and food like a hopscotching fool! I tossed and turned and tried calm myself down, all to no avail. So I got up and showered at about five in the morning and then went back to bed. Worked like a charm...and then I was almost late to work...

Weekend extravaganza

I had a WEEKEND EXTRAVAGANZA that I would love to tell you about. And every time I type the words WEEKEND EXTRAVAGANZA I hear an announcer voice in my head with cheesy commercial background music booming the words WEEKEND EXTRAVAGANZA announcing my blog. Wow.

Anywhosal Friday I took off early from work and picked up Scotland and we headed up to a cousin's wedding. Every time someone would ask me about our wedding, I found myself shouting THREE WEEKS (but this time in my own voice) to the great amusement of my darling Scotland. Summary: It was cute, her colors were various shades of blue, my uncle Cory looked dashing in his black suit, there was dancing and wedding cake, all was well.

The next morning I went lingerie shopping with the girlfriends and I was a lot braver than I thought I would be. Like, a lot. A whole lot. But they insisted that I needed an "Arsenal piece" as well as some other cuteness items. It was such a blast, and we finished it up with a picnic in Pocatello.

Then there was the bridal shower. I had such an unbelievable amount of fun on Saturday night. It was so great to see everyone and play such goofy games (hello pink frilly panties!) and chat with everyone. And I really liked watching my great aunt laugh until she cried when I told them all about dad's wedding night advice... Hope he is ok with everyone knowing about that...Oh well...

Sunday I went to church with the fam and got to have a good talk with Jodi as she helped me load my car and then I went home and took a nap and just relaxed. It was wonderful. What a blast! And it really helped get me started on the final stretch before the wedding. I still feel like I have a lot to do, but it is coming together pretty quickly. My goals for this week are: put together all the flowers, finish the crepes, send out the final invites, and finalize the luncheon. Now if only I could find my list...

Today when I got on the scale, a frown crossed my face. I don't like it when those numbers go up. So I decided with resolve (not the carpet cleaner) that I would have a cleansing day and just drink crystal light lemonade and water to flush out my system and give me a fresh start. That was approximately 5 hours ago. My cleansing day ended 1 hour ago when I succumbed to the Amish Friendship Bread in the break room and the oreo cookies stashed in my desk. Yum. So glad the cleansing day was so short. No wonder those numbers are going up.

Does anyone want some Amish Bread Starters? I will have some in nine days...

Whoever thought that it was no big deal to wait ten days for bread was an idiot. Those Amish, Oy Veh! (and now I am jewish) No buttons or zippers or microwaves. And now you have to wait ten days for some bread. I'm surprised they aren't extinct. I am also surprised they have any friends since they have to wait ten days before they can give any bread to them. (their friends, not the jewish,) geez louise...(unless of course they have jewish friends, which is entirely possible) what nonsense.

Huh. Back to the oreos.

The Flintstones

Yesterday I ate about a million oreo cookies and didn't get sick to my stomach. It was wonderful.

Scotland called me and said he would like a ride home when I got off work. Ok.

When I picked him up, he said he wanted to be taken to an urgent care facility. His forehead was all slick and shiny with salty sweat. (alliteration) He said he was sick. Off we went, me and the sicky, and when we walked into the waiting room, I announced "He needs to see a doctor" and then realized I didn't know why. Meanwhile, Scotland was scouting out the waiting room for an appropriate vomit catching receptacle. And then he proceeded to use it. Right there in the waiting room. It was no bueno. When he pulled his head out of the black garbage can he was clutching, he quipped to the office girls "Bet you guys love hearing that" and promptly ducked back into the garbage can for another round.

I couldn't help it. I started laughing.

They ushered him back to a room right away while I proceeded to fill out the paperwork with all the wrong information. My specialty is wrong information.

Then I skipped back into the room he was in to see what was going on. The poor dear, bless his heart (Scotlands favorite phrase is bless his/her heart) was all shiny again, chewing ice chips and standing over the air vent while waiting for the nurses/doctor to fix him. He went to the bathroom probably about 18 times over the next two hours. The doctor poked and prodded and then sent us to the hospital for a CT scan. After that, they gave him three shots in the bum and three prescriptions for additional drugs, and were ready to send us on our way.

Do you want to know the diagnosis, or in medical terms, dx? Should I have ended that sentence with a question mark? Am I done asking questions? Yes.

He has a kidney stone and a gal stone! A two for one deal! Yay!

So after he tried tipping over once or twice as we loaded him into the car, I took him home and put him to bed.

When he woke up a little later, I told him we needed to name the stones! How about Blarney stone?!?!? Or rolling stone?!?!? Or sharon stone!?!?! Or flintstone!?!?!?! (that one was my favorite) He seemed only vaguely amused. And then he told me he wanted to name it Norma Stone. I felt a little sad, I mean who names their kidney stone after their boss? I told him I would call it EEEEENormaSSSSS Stone. He didn't name the gal stone yet. It is still under consideration. Any thoughts?

Tink outside the box of crayons

Scotland and I were having a conversation about wedding colors the other day. I had asked him which color of flower he would like to wear as a boutonniere (yes I had to spell check that) and he asked me

"what are my choices again?"

Lime green

Ocean blue

Berry Purple

and

Fuchsia

He said "those aren't in the eight colors"

Eight colors? What is he talking about?

"My crayons came eight colors to a box! I don't even know what fuchsia is close to!"

OOOOOHHHHHH.

So here you are my darling man.

Lime green

Ocean Blue

Berry Purple

Fuchsia

And YES in case you are wondering, I was considering all of these loverly frocks for my bridesmaids. Until I decided not to have bridesmaids. And now I want these dresses for myself.

Huh. Eight colors.
Didn't you have a crayon called Macaroni and Cheese, cause I sure did!

P.S. Have you ever tried looking for dresses on Google images? All I was getting were slutty prom dress pictures and fairies. Oh and the blue dress that Cinderella goes to the ball in. Which if you really think about it probably fits into the slutty prom dress category. Disney Shmisney.

Shaken not stirred

Saturday was a grueling day of tux shopping. Now I understand why men hate to go clothes shopping with their wives/girlfriends. Sitting and waiting while it takes the other person AEON'S of time to get into and out of various outfits and the lingering over decisions all the while humming and hawing can really grate upon one's nerves.

A few things he insisted on.

1. Must be a tux. Black tux.

2. Must have a bow tie. None of this neck tie business. And a real bow tie is mandatory.

3. Must have a cumberbund. Black cumberbund.

Really? A cumberbund? Needless to say, I was less than thrilled at that option. I begged and pleaded with him "Please, how 'bout a vest instead of a cumberbund!" I bargained with him "If you have a vest, you can take off your suit coat when you get hot!" And finally, I argued with him "Cumberbunds are out of style!" But still he persisted.

I had given up all hope of changing his stubborn mind and we went home to relax before the parents came over. He sent a message to his sister asking her what she thought. She said vest. I asked for Jess's opinion, she said vest. He even asked his father what he though. He said "Give her what she wants."

I love Pops. He knows me.

Last night, I asked if he had finally come to a decision on this. Quietly and without any fanfare, he said he would go with the vest. I was shocked, stunned and astonished. He didn't even complain about it, he just sounded resigned.

And now I feel guilty. The one thing I should have let him choose for himself, his attire, I was too controlling to let go. Yikes. I have already broken the one steadfast rule of wifery. "Do not manipulate to get what you want."

This wife business is going to be trickier than I thought. It is not just about doing the laundry and having a meal prepared when he gets home...Why didn't they teach this in home ec?

It should be friday

This has already been the longest week ever. I keep thinking it is Friday and then I am rather disappointed to find it is not.

Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying myself, but I guess I am just excited for this weekend!!!


Last night, Scotland and I did a little shopping around. He bought two new shirts and decided that he wanted to wear one of them, so he stripped his bright orange "Kentucky Native" shirt off, right there in the parking lot and put on his brand new "Fender" shirt. (I told him Jodi would be jealous cause she loves fender.) Before I know it, we are in the grocery store and I look over and realize that he still has the size sticker on him.


I am a terrible person since I just let him walk around the store with this sticker on him. Even the cashier winked at me. After we got home he went in the bathroom and washed up and I thought he would notice for sure. Nope. Then he came out and started cooking dinner, and I held up my camera phone to take a picture of him with the display on the outside still on. Nada. So finally I told him to go look in the mirror and he peeled it off with a chuckle.

The dress dilemma

The alterations of my wedding gown have been giving me ulcers. I am not even doing them! Actually, it is not the alterations, it is the woman.

Let me back up a smidgen.

When I bought the dress from Treasures, they gave me the name of the seamstress that they use. They told me a bustle hook would be included for free, and the girl that sold me the dress said that she could even take out the zipper in the back and replace it with my absolute dream, a lace up back. They gave me her name; (Bobbette) and told me as soon as my dress was paid for they could start the alterations.

I was attending a dress fitting for a friend and she mentioned to Bobbette that I was going to have her do some alterations as well. Bobbette said she could do an impromptu fitting since her next appointment had not shown up yet. She tried to talk me out of the lace up back, and I am so grateful that Katie reminded me that I should do what I want, not what other people want. So I stood my ground and insisted on the lace up back. She took down my information including the date of the wedding and bid us farewell.

About a month later, I started wondering how my dress was and when it would be done so I gave her a call. She sounded very annoyed on the phone and told me that she hadn't even started on my dress because the wedding was still a long way off. That was at the end of May, less than two months to go til the big day. She told me that when I had my appointment for my bridal pictures that I could call her and she would start working on it. I was very unhappy with her customer service and the tone she has on the phone.

I arranged things with the photographer and set a date for the photo shoot and then called Bobbette to let her know when I would need the dress. She was again very rude on the phone and told me to call her back on Monday because she had too much on her mind for that weekend to schedule a fitting with me. I was so frustrated. I felt that she had no reason to treat me with such disrespect and rudeness. I came to the conclusion that I was going to find another seamstress who could do such a major alteration.

I started asking around and found another person that does wedding gown alterations who came with a good referral. After tracking down her phone number, I called her and arranged for a date that I could have a fitting with her. I inquired about her experience replacing zippers with lace up's and was very pleased with her customer service and the way she treated me and spoke to me on the phone.

After I had made an appointment with her, I called up Treasures so that I could inquire about picking up my dress. As soon as I mentioned it to the sales girl who had answered the phone, she handed me over to Bobbette who was, wouldn't you know it, standing right there. Bobbette proceeded to tell me when I could come in for a fitting. I agreed to the day before my fitting with the other girl, and after hanging up, I rationalized that if Bobbette treated me badly again, I would simply ask for the dress right then and there and march out of the dressing room with my head held high. Then I would have a fitting with the other seamstress the next day without anymore wasted time.

At my fitting today, Bobbette was wonderfully nice to me. The lace up back looks wonderful, and all there is left to do is inserting a panel and a bustle hook. I won't even have to try on the dress again, I just have to pick it up in a little over a week. So I bit my tongue about how rude she was and I smiled even when she called me Kristen; and then I walked out the door with the knowledge that my dress would be perfect and I would never have to work with that horrible woman again...

So I guess my dress dilemma is no more. Now if I could just pin down the luncheon details, we would be in good shape...

oh the pain of it all...

I woke up yesterday with my shoulder hurting. A lot. After it wasn't any better today, I went to the chiropractor. Apparently, my shoulder was pushed part way out of its socket and it was pinching a nerve. So he popped it back in, adjusted my back and neck and sent me on my way. But before he let me go, he gave me specific instructions that I was not allowed to move my elbow above my waist if I could help it, and that if I had problems doing that he would have to tape my arm to my side. Well, as tempting as that was, I said I would be a good little girl and keep it on the down low.

This has proven to be more difficult than I thought it would be. Do you know how many times you reach for something with the wrong arm? Do you know how difficult it is to be a formerly two armed fully functioning individual?

And then I got to thinking, if he taped my arm to my side, how would I put on my shirt? How would I shower, and apply deodorant and wear a bra? I most certainly couldn't go to work without all of those things...Huh, maybe getting my arm taped to my body is more tempting than I originally thought... I could do with a week off work.....

Just call me gimpy....

gimpy fish...

gimpy

gets-to-have-a-

week-off-work

fish

Now you're jealous, aren't you....

Dreamin'

So this weekend has officially been dubbed "The weekend of crazy dreams" since every single night I have had one... at least....

Yesterday when I was having my mid day nap, I was dreaming that I was a little kid in the bathtub with Scott (also as a little kid) and he put my cell phone (since all little kids have cell phones, right?) at the bottom of the tub and I was so mad. When I woke up, I was ready to chew him out for doing that to my cell phone.

The night before that, I was dreaming that I was in a plane crash in my wedding dress and my dress was on fire. I wasn't scared, just mad that my dress was ruined.

Apparently I wasn't the only one dreaming. Scott had a dream about me. He said he had totally forgotten about it until he heard the song "Baby Got Back" by sir mix a lot on the radio. Hmmmm. I don't want to know....

what a silly question

Somebuddyaskedmetheotherday why I write more than one post a day about more than one thing. Um. Really? Would you rather my posts were one long run on sentence about the various things going on in my life/head? Would you be able to keep up with that?

I have to filter things before they go onto the page, see, and organize the jumbled mess that clutters up my pretty brain. Otherwise you would think I was alittlebitcrazy. And maybe I am... But either way, I have to pretend not to be don't I?

Capiche?

...

Where was I?
...
...Yesterday I picked up Scotland's ring on my lunch break. It is lovely, and the loveliest thing about it is that my ring slides right through it. That's right, my future husband has big hands...and you know what that means... *chuckle*...

Wait, what does that mean?

Anywhosal, when I got home from work he was sooooo excited (because he knew I had it) and he wanted to see it right away. I firmly told him he needed to finish his dinner first (See?!?!? I am going to be a great mom, right!?!?!?) and then he went to look for some dessert in the pantry and BAM there it was!

Yeah, he likes it. And even though it is against the rules, I let him wear it last night. We went to the grocery store and on the way he said "Wait do you have your ring?" Yup. "Oh ok, I just didn't want to go to the store and have somebody see me with my ring and wonder what that married man is doing with that girl." Check.

The girl at great harvest knows my name now...so I am pretty much famous, right? She said "Weren't you in here yesterday?" and she gave me a free loaf of bread (because I had a coupon for a free loaf) and then she gave me another free loaf (I'm lying) just because I was cool (no I'm not lying! she really did.) so that makes me famous and cool and receiving free stuff because of it!

Put that in your cap and call it macaroni!

And today I am going to Sam's club to get stuff for the wedding and everyone knows people that shop at sams club are inherently cool. and YES I had to spell check inherently. inherantly. inherintly. Incoherently cool I say...

Fugettaboutttitttt......

AAAAANNNNNDDDD I went tanning and totally pinkified myself after ten minutes. ten minutes in their lowest intensity bed. So I must rock, right?

Scotland and I are so awesome that we took an impromptu trip on Wednesday and returned on Thursday! That is the middle of the week people!!!! Nobody but nobody takes trips in the middle of the week!!!! ONLY FAMOUS COOL PEOPLE TAKE TRIPS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK!!!!

Savvy?

So in this post we have established (once again) how famous and cool I am and what a great mother I would make and how Scotland has big hands.... wait I can't remember whatelseIwasgoingtosay....

This is why we filter. Catch up people! For the love!







k rizzle

Amazing

I made it to work today in 6.5 minutes. I hit every single green light but one.

Obviously this means one thing. The church is true. And I was speeding like a bat out of hell....

Rain keeps fallin' on my head

When I was little, my grandma had a music box that would play the song "Rain keeps fallin' on my head."

Today, that is my quandary. This is the fourth downpour/cloudburst today. And wouldn't ya know, I left my jacket in the car. Again. So now, I have to run RUN out to my car, in my high heels with my head duck'd under a newspaper all the while wishing I had my loverly little jacketta with the hood.

And now that song is stuck in my head.

"Rain keeps a fallin on my head...dum dum da da da da daaaa da dum dum La la la la la La la dum dum da dum dum du du dum dum du du da."

No I did not sing that aloud as I typed it (yes i did.)

But you did, right? Huh. That's lame.

What's cookin' good lookin'?

Scotland once said to me "Casanova, I am not" and it made me laugh. So to him I now respond, "Betty Crocker, I am not!"


This is a cake I made this last weekend. I lovingly dubbed it "Muhanna you ugly cake" because it tasted pretty good, but it is ugly. It fell apart when I took it out of the pan. So much for non stick spray. It is strawberry, not chocolate too...don't be fooled...

This delightful dish is supposed to be S'more brownies. Notice the marshmallow on top and the graham cereal pieces. It was a bit strange, I wish the cereal wasn't so crunchy. Oh well.

So much for my culinary masterpieces, right?

Bridal shower

Dear Mom,

Thanks for throwing my Pocatello bridal shower for me. I am really excited to see all my aunts, cousins, friends and sisters. The announcements you made look really cute! Hope we get to play some fun games! Don't embarrass me too bad, ok?

Dear Ashley,

Thanks for throwing my Idaho Falls bridal shower for me. I am soooo excited to see all my work friends and ward friends and the bates ladies. I love the poem you wrote for the invites! Try to keep it PG rated (tell Hillary!) since my mother will be there. You know how those stories get around....

*Sass-a-frass* I love it!

Sometimes I read back in my blog and am shocked at how sassy I sound. On the verge of wash-your-mouth-out-with-soap-young-lady-sassy.

I love it.

In other news, invites are going out soon for the bridal showers and for the reception etc. Soooooo excited, especially since Hillary promised fuzzy handcuff for a shower present (*blush*) which should be pretty fun...ahem, funny. Not like I would ever use them or anything...

I love it.

Moving on, the house hunt has officially come to a screeching halt as Scotland has found the home of his dreams (and those must be some crazy a** dreams, I tell you what) and is calculating payments for it, amount of interest we would owe, number of back rubs I would require to agree, etc. And whenever the math starts to get to me and makes me turn a little crazy, I start kissing him and all those little numbers fly right out of my head...

I love it.

On the work front I am catching up from my sick day and attempting to conquer one pile at a time. A never ending battle, let me assure you. But then I get all sassy with my co-workers and we start laughing and joking about silly things and I think how happy I am that I like who I work with and I like what I do. And then the sass just gets a little sharper and a little quicker...

I love it.

Fo Shizzle my nizzle

John. We don't want to see your nizzle. Stop asking.
By the way did you find your earbuds?
Mom took them. I handed them to her.
Love you much!
K to the rock.

Dear FedEx

You're my new best friend call me every five minutes.

Your future customer.

Dear UPS

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think your company needs a little work. You see, I had a package addressed to my house. You know, the little white apartment on 14th st? Yes well, when your lovely little delivery man came, he didn't leave the package on my doorstop, he didn't leave the package on my back porch, he didn't leave the package with my neighbor, or even with the manager of the complex. No dear UPS, he didn't leave the package at all, for you see, he insisted that he obtain my signature for the package. Now when he delivered it back to your office on the opposite side of town from me, I called up your company inquiring where my little package was. "You will have to come pick it up" I was told. "Or we can deliver it somewhere else" Well naturally, since I am not at my house 24/7, I was hoping that you could deliver it to my work address. "Yes of course!" came the enthusiastic response. And then I was informed that by changing the address of delivery, it would add $10.00 as a personal delivery fee. I asked politely if you could just bring it to the other UPS office, the one by the mall and on my side of town, "Why certainly!" again, with enthusiasm. But that would also cost $10.00. TO DELIVER TO YOUR OWN OFFICE. A PLACE YOU GO EVERY DAY. I was naturally rather put off by this news. "How ridiculous," I thought. So I asked to speak with one of your UPS supervisors. She was very lovely, this Carly woman, she empathized with me "Yes, that must have been frustrating" she commiserated. And then she told me the exact same thing. Great. So either I had to pay 10.00 extra to have it delivered to my place of work or the other UPS location, or I had to drive to the other end of town to pick up a package that should have been left at my house. You see, UPS this is why I think your company needs a little work. I think you suck. But then again, that is just my humble opinion.
Sincerely
A former customer.

Exhausting

I am tired. It was a very hectic weekend. Friday was house hunting, Saturday was working out the budget, preparing for the wedding and then attending the wedding of a friend, Sunday was church and then down to the parents house to work on addresses for the announcements. We got home at eleven last night and I was still so worked up I had a hard time falling asleep. I went to work 30 minutes early this morning so I could fulfil my weekly cleaning obligations at the office, and it is almost eleven am and I am about to start snoozing at my desk.

Busy, right? But good. I love that we are filled with the preparations for our new lives together. I love that I am embracing the hectic stressful times and looking forward to the times to come. I am so very in love with my life and my family and my future husband!

Look for announcements soon. First batch will be mailed off this week, then another next week.

love to all,
~K~

General updates

The countdown is definitely on. I made a list the other night (I know, big surprise. The list queen makes another list!) and I am rather surprised at how much there still is to do before the big day. Among my list of horrors is 1. The luncheon (oh bane of my existence! Will someone just plan that part for me?!?!?!) 2. the unfinished dress (please pray for my seamstress. and me. and my dress. and me.)3. the menu of the reception (yes, we have been going back and forth on this for a million years. Yes I still don't know what to do.)

We chose and ordered a ring for Scotland. Not the original style that he liked at first, (see Something Shiny Part 2 blog) but a tungsten ring with a brushed finish in the middle. He really likes it and it catches the light and shines quite nicely. It should be here in a week or two. He was very disappointed that I told him he can't wear it until we are married because guys don't have engagement rings. But really? I had to wait for almost two months for my ring! He can wait for one month!

Last night, as if I wasn't busy enough, Scotland decided that we should start looking at houses now rather than after the wedding. I told him that was fine with me, and I would be happy to come along, but this is his deal. He needs to be the one making appointments, finding a realtor, whatever. I don't want to hear prices. I don't want to figure payments. I don't want to know the interest rate. I. can't. handle. that. right. now. No way, no how. So this is his little baby right now. I go along for the ride, and I say what I like and don't like. As far as figuring out what things will cost when houses need a refrigerator or new carpet or whatever, that is his responsibility. I don't want to know.

We are also busy collecting our brazilion addresses to send out the invites to. Scotland is picking them up from UPS today (which has already been a disaster, thank you UPS!) and then we should be sending them out some time next week, right on time!

We also got our marriage licence and my passport. We will both have dentist appointments shortly before the big day, and we hope to move his bed up to my room which will leave him sleeping on the air mattress or the fold out bed for two weeks or so. (He was wanting to just sleep on the floor, but I thought that might be a bit hard on him, even tough guy that he is :) so hopefully that will work.)

Cheese cheese my darling cheese

Scotland took me to Papa Toms to enjoy a cheeslicious pizza with pepperoni, sausage, tomatoes and cheeeeeese the other day. (Cheese and I are back together by the way) and it was absolutely delightful. I know that my sister is abhorrent of pizza, but I will forever crave that saucy cheesy food as long as I live. Sometimes if I am feeling really daring, I will cover my pizza in pickles or dip it in ranch. That's living, I tell you!

Then for lunch yesterday I enjoyed a fresh spinach salad with croutons, avocado, tomatoes and cottage cheese. It was so divine, I was rather overcome. Where did I get such a culinary masterpiece you ask?!?!?! I made it myself. But don't tell anyone because I wouldn't want Scotland to get the idea that I actually know how to cook. Then who would take me out to dinner?!?!?!

what an engaging conversation

(Alright mommo you knew this was coming. )

I was blessed to have the most enthralling conversations with my parental units this weekend. Separately of course, they gave me their own special brand of "honeymoon preparedness" advice. Needless to say, it was the most embarrassing convo of my adult life,
(and that includes the time that my best friends mom asked me if we had been showering together. No. thanks for assuming that.)
and not one that I would be broadcasting all over the internet. But for a quick glimpse into my horror, I will reveal that my father used the phrase *shudder* pelvic exam and my mother came up with a quirky analogy of microwaves and crock pots to describe the differences between men and women. Utter humiliation.

After that, I was able to move onto the drudgery of spending my parents money to pay for some very B. E. A. UTIFUL decorations for my reception. (payback baby, payback!) I am quite happy to report that the reception planning is 80% complete after the exhausting decision making that I did this weekend.

I witnessed the miracle of forgiveness when my little brother graduated despite his overwhelming number of absences (probably due to motorbikes, girls and cars most assuredly in that order) and laughed heartily when I saw his cap askew *that's right I said athhhhquuuueeeeee* (which must be pronounced with a lisp) and his constant bored expression of *I will die this very moment if someone does not rescue me from the monotony of this event* so perfectly befitting of an eighteen year old boy.

I also was able to have my sister do my hair and nails this weekend, and she is progressing quite nicely, although she still suffers from a slight case of overconfidencitis and needs a little more practice. Alas, this disorder seems to be compounded by my own perfectionitis which causes much wailing and gnashing of teeth. (mostly mine)

As the self proclaimed queen of bad timing, I said goodbye to my parents as one was in the bathroom and the other was shaving her legs (three guesses!) to whit I hope they will forgive me for my inconsiderability. *yah that's right, I just made that up!*



"No really mom, I am sorry." To whit she would reply "fugettaboutttittt..." *gangsta mommo style*

Stuck in your head

Blame it on the rain that is falling down (milli vanilli) that I'm bringing sexy back (justin timberlake) cause these are a few of my favorite things (sound of music) just don't worry be happy (bob marley) cause all I wanna do (sheryl crow) is make you feel my love (garth brooks).