Yesterday I had the privilege, no honor of manning a booth at the IF high school job fair for my esteemed employer. My Vanna White aspirations come true. It was (not) a wonderful experience that I will relive nightly in my (horrible) dreams.
Mixed feelings aside, I suppose it was beneficial (in a way) to my company.
After shaking innumerable sweaty hands, handing out copious amounts of applications to under qualified individuals and enduring the deer-in-the-headlights look as soon as people hear what the job description entails, I ended up with about 45 resumes to peruse.
And to add to my delightful experience, the night before said event, I felt the tell-tale signs that my forehead was starting to build pressure as Mt. Vesuvius formed in the middle of my forehead, threatening to erupt during my time being "the face" of CBS? Run for your lives applicants, lest you are buried in the volcanic ash!!! So much for my starring role as Vanna White.
I was even (un) fortunate enough to be on the local news with that face. My cup runneth over! *sniff*
A few (horrible) highlights for your pleasure. Shall I turn the cards over, Pat?
1. The guy that kept telling me that he would not do anything unethical. Yes, I understand that you need to protect your integrity. But there is nothing on the job description that includes breaking kneecaps, child labor, or sleeping your way to the top. The fact that you automatically assume you need to establish those boundaries the very first time I meet you is insulting to me.
2. The guy that cheerfully handed me his resume and said, "Hey, you call me all the time! If you gave me a job I might pay those bills!" followed by the resounding chortle. NotGoingToHappenBuddy!
3. The woman that decided the best way to convince me to give her a job was by telling me I looked tired (thank you), and proceeding to an uninvited shoulder massage. Stop. touching. me.
4. The woman who came back, not once or twice but three times to borrow my pen to fill out an application for another company, and then didn't return it. *cough*companytheft*cough*cough*
And how do I feel about the experience as a whole? It was freak-tastic in every sense of the word.
And now? In the aftermath? I get to play resume roulette and hope I don't chose the wrong person to come in for an interview so they can irritate me once again! *Copious amounts of (fake) joy!* It's like spinning the wheel of (un) fortune where one wrong spin will say "bankrupt" or "lose a turn".
Oh the overwhelming joy of it all!
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