My biological clock

I am physically unable to sleep in on a Saturday morning.

My eyes pop open at eight am. And then I attempt to fall back asleep because why in the name of heaven am I awake at this hour? For the next hour or two, sleep eludes me, even as restful as it is at my quiet childless home. And if it weren't for the warmth of my sweet husband's arms, I would probably get up and start doing something, but I don't want to leave that cocoon of snugly softness. So I fight my roving consciousness, pushing down thoughts of plans for the day and my ever growing to do list, while I squeeze my eyes shut and force out the sunshine playing at my window. And eventually, I get tired of laying there listening to the soft oblivious snoring of my darling Scotland, and my conscience gets the better of me, so I get up and putter around my quiet little house.

Right before the horrid daylight savings screwed me all up, I was waking up right before my alarm went off every morning. My body sensed the light in the room and the pattern of sleep, and I was automatically (and pleasantly, might I add) lifted from my drowsy state with ease. And really I was quite enjoying it until we had to "spring forward" an hour and wake up while it is still dark. But I digress.

And then today, while sneaking in a quick lunch hour nap, I awoke for no reason, exactly five minutes before I needed to leave to go back to work. I had no idea what time it was, I didn't know when I had rested my head on the pillow or how long I could sleep. I just knew that it was time to get up.

So my rapidly forming theory is this. Sometimes, your body just knows what is best. Sometimes you have to listen to what your body is doing in order to have harmony. And that is probably what is the most difficult for me.

As specified in this post I am having obvious control issues with my body right now. We are in a power struggle of sorts, me demanding that it conform to the schedule that I have for it while, like a rebellious teenager, it defies me at every point and then sulks in the corner until I relent. And while I am not giving up on it by any means, I have realized that at this point in my life, I need to pick my battles. I need to learn what I am willing to fight for and what I must give up for now.