Big Fights

I guess I never realized before that sometimes fights are necessary. Big fat ugly fights sometimes create connection and understanding that was not there before. We can only go part way on minor confrontations because although they are clean and neat where fights are not, they only allow us to show a small portion of ourselves. Fights can allow us to see others for who they really are and also to see ourselves and all of our issues and problems in a clearer light.

I sometimes forget that you can fight with someone because you love them and they are worth fighting with. In so many of my past relationships, I have chosen the easy way out, when things get tough, I take off. But when I really care about someone, I will fight. I will call them out on the carpet and tell them why I am mad and what they have done (or not done). I will rant and rave and cry, all the while attempting to express these emotions that seem to be bursting from me. I don't carefully choose my words and tip toe around issues. I get messy and it gets ugly and by hashing it out that way, we actually can come to a resolution and things become crystal clear. Not that it is that easy all the time. Sometimes it takes a while, sometimes it takes weeks or months. But in the end, I always know that whatever holds us together will last through the fight, and eventually that bond will heal anything. If I didn't care about them, I wouldn't fight with them. If I didn't love them, I would just leave it.