Absence makes the heart grow fonder

So, Kentucky boy is going back home for a few days, starting tomorrow. A few weeks ago when he told me that he was going, I thought that this would be great because he would be able to see his family, and I could get some things done that I had been putting off. While I am happy that he is so excited to go, I feel heavy with the realization that he won't be here with me. I am stunned that I have become so attached to him in such a short amount of time. Five months as of yesterday in fact, and I am surprised that I depend on him as much as I do. Yesterday, I was terrified to drive in the snow, and he took me to work and picked me up after it was over. It was so sweet of him, I tried to protest, telling him that although nervous, I could do it, but he just takes care of me.

He is only going to be gone for five days. That is it, not even over Christmas, but I just don't want him to leave right now. Things have been so incredibly good lately and he has been so wonderful that I question how I will manage without him.

Sometimes I am the strong and independent type. Sometimes I feel like I don't need anyone around, and I can do it by myself. But then I get over myself and realize that I don't want to have to be that person. I like depending upon someone, I like supporting someone and having them support me right back. For all my criticisms of marriage, it certainly fulfills that need to have someone by your side, someone that is always concerned about you, and wants the best for you, and loves you. My family does that to a point, but I think that marriage is different than the support your family can provide because your spouses life is inextricably entwined with yours. How amazing to have two lives blend together to make one life.

Right now I feel like the boy and I have started that process of entangling our lives. It becomes more complicated when you have to figure another person into your life, but it is something that I am learning to do, bit by bit. I want to go with him to run stupid errands, I want to have him there when I am working on the computer at home, or have him help me hang up curtains. I want to be part of his life and have him be part of mine. I don't want him to go.

As much as I will miss him, I know that he will return after five long days, and things will be fine. My life will not fall apart without him. His will not fall apart without me.

Now if I could only guarantee that Kentucky girl will not get to him...