Unconditional love

Is there such a thing as unconditional love? What does that even mean? Conditions are not the same as boundaries, right? Can we still have boundaries without putting conditions on people? What about expectations? Do we have expectations that someone has to meet in order for us to love them? Does that mean we don't have a right to expect certain things from the people we love? I honestly don't understand this concept. Everyone I know has some sort of expectations or boundaries or restrictions or limitations even with people they love, even if they claim their love is unconditional.


The love for family is supposedly unconditional. But if that is so, why would parents disown their children when they are not living up to expectations? And for that matter, if love between a husband and wife is unconditional, why do so many couples get divorced over matters like finances and adultery? Aren't those both examples of conditional love? "I will love you as long as you do the following things and follow the following rules." Wow, I am sure every little girl dreams of that kind of love, right?

So if no love is actually unconditional, what do people mean when they say they love someone unconditionally? Is it just an exaggerated term meaning that they love someone very much? Does it mean looking past their faults and loving them anyways? If that is the case, then do we each have an internal list of what is appropriate behavior to look past and what is inappropriate behavior that we cannot get past?

There is only one type of love that is actually unconditional in my book, and that is the love of God. Other than that, we are human and selfish and will remove our love if we feel the recipient is not deserving of it. We feel betrayed by someone and to protect ourselves we stop loving them, right? Or do we just convince ourselves that we stop loving them? Do we disown our children but keep on loving them in private silence, wondering if they will ever live up to our expectations so that we can sweep in and bestow them with that love again? Do we divorce our spouse and tell ourselves every day that we are better off without them, all the while keeping a tiny part of our love hidden away, like a discarded sweater in the back of a closet, only to come tripping across it when we are looking in the past? Does that love fade and change over the years but never disappear?

I guess if it never disappears completely, then it must be unconditional after all. We may hide it when we are hurt and take it away when we are disappointed, but if it remains, even hidden, then that is something, right? Maybe instead of being conditional or unconditional, we could label love based upon it's length. It could be temporary love, short term love, long term love, and eternal love. *laugh* It doesn't quite have the same ring as unconditional, does it?

So why am I having this pseudo psychological discussion with myself on this post? I guess it has been on my mind a lot lately. So many people I know are having marital problem or getting divorced. It makes me question the basic fundamentals of marriage, commitment, and love to see so many ending something that is supposed to be so great. I see families that are so engrossed in their opposing viewpoints that they forget to love each other at all, consumed by their arguments and bitter feelings. Pain and suffering, all in the name of love, right? So much for that fairy tale ending I was looking for...