Madness

I am so drained this morning. I feel like I am just going through the motions of life today, forcing myself to do normal things, hoping that I can function and make it through today. The weekend was a bit of an emotional train wreck all the way through, and I didn't sleep very much last night so I am just running on fumes this morning.

Through all the craziness of the weekend, I do think that the boy was pretty awesome. He handled my emotional girl moments very nicely and didn't take off like most guys would if they encountered a woman in the state I was in, even though I kept expecting him to. I continue to be completely surprised by his calm and steady reactions to everything that is thrown at him. I think I am wearing him out with all my insanity though.

I think I let down my guard a little too much this weekend, and that was why everything went all sorts of crazy. When I realized that last night I felt those walls come right back up to shield myself again. So much for revealing my vulnerabilities, right? I hate to say it, but I think things are right back where they were before, and he will be asking me why I am hiding my weaknesses again in a few days. Two steps forward, one step back...