The "M" word

I think I can count on one hand the number of people in the past month that have not asked me if I am going to get married. I freely admit that it is on my mind occasionally, which is completely normal being that I am in a relationship, mormon and 26. But why does it have to be on everyone else's minds also? Pretty much the only people that have not questioned me on this aspect of my life are the girl at the bank and the annoying neighbor kid that is too involved in discussing his own conquests. I think that everyone else I know has asked one of us about marriage in some form or another. And as uncomfortable as that is, I am just waiting for someone to ask us about it when we are together. (My money is on President Call. Can I tell you how excited I am to have that horrible conversation with him? Wow. My mind just reels thinking about it!) My most sincere form of irritation comes when people get that knowing smile on their faces, cock their heads to the side, and say "When it is right, you will just know." Gag. Retch. Puke. Seriously? What have these people been smoking? Who says corny stuff like that, and worse, who believes it? I will just know? I don't just know what sort of muffin I want for breakfast, or just know who my favorite actor is, or just know what size jeans I wear. But I will just know who the person is that I want to see every day for the rest of my life and into eternity? Are you for real? From my perspective, those decisions are not even in the same realm of importance or finality. And if I don't just know what I want to wear in the morning, then I sure as hell don't just know who I want to marry! You people are crazy!

So how do you know, then? Scott tells me he knows what I want. I don't even know what I want, so how does he know? And how do you come to the conclusion that you should marry someone? Is there some algorithm that I should be aware of? "If candidate fits qualifications A, B, and C, then marriage is an appropriate decision." Or maybe it is how you feel about them, if you love them, etc? Well, I tell you what, I love the guy that designed my shoes, but I have not ever considered marriage to him! I crush on people all the time. What level of love is the level you need to marry someone? Is it like a candy thermometer where as soon as it gets to the light crack stage you know you are close and then when it is at the hard crack stage you are good to go? That is what I need! A marriage thermometer that measures things in terms of just a crush, slight infatuation love, love that is never going to go anywhere, wrong person for you love, unrequited love, and finally, time to get yourself a white dress love. I am sure that everyone agrees that things would be much simpler then.

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend about plans for this week, and when I told her that Scott and I have a previous engagement for that evening, her eyes lit up! I backpedaled like crazy saying that I really meant that we had plans already, and Scott made some comment about his preference that I don't say that word. It was all just a joke, but it made me think that there is some form of underlying truth to it. We don't often use the "M" word when we are referring to our future with the other person. It just doesn't happen. Everyone else and their dog seems to use it, but we don't, probably because that would mean another DTR talk, and really, I have had my fill of those lately that are not related to the "M" word.

It has almost become a bit of a joke to me. Like counting train cars, I count the number of times people ask me about it in a day. And I put bets on who will ask next! I make up stories about how Scott has a wife and eight children in Panama, and we are just waiting for the Visa's so they can all come up here and we can be one great big happy family. I told one girl that we were just searching for a flight to Vegas that comes with one free "little white chapel" wedding. She looked like she had just swallowed a bird. *giggle* It was very funny... It's a good thing that I can laugh about such things. She certainly couldn't...