The Law

I used to get pulled over a lot when I was younger. My {formerly} reckless nature led me to believe that I had to get everywhere at the highest possible speed and that every stoplight was just an opportunity to try out my Indie 500 lead food skills. Needless to say, The Law didn't think much of my adolescent ways. And I got stopped on a pretty regular basis. But the thing I had going for me back then was two fold. My gender, and an ability to cry whenever I was pulled over. Please let me assure you, I have no talent as an actress. Those tears were a real manifestation of the fear I had of being ticketed, and the resulting parental suspension of my driving privileges, which as you know is the equivalent of social death to a teenager. And fortunately for me {and unfortunately for the rest of the drivers on the road} I have only ever gotten one ticket in my lifetime. But I still got that anxious shaky going-to-cry feeling whenever I got pulled over.

Fast forward a few years and I am very proud to say I have not only broken my need for speed, but I have also not been pulled over for about six years. That is until last Friday.

I was heading home from work on Friday for lunch when I realized there was a sheriff's car behind me at the stop sign. And then I realized I didn't have my seat belt on. Great. So after I made my left turn, I slipped the shoulder strap down and attempted to buckle it, and wouldn't you know it, the twisted strap was refusing to latch in. And then the lights turned on behind me.

I pulled over and put my arm down to hold the belt in place, knowing full well that when I was asked for my licence and registration, I would have to lean over to my glove box and the belt would spring back to my left shoulder and then it would all be over. But nonetheless, I rolled down my window as the sheriff approached, and managed to squeak out a hello while my knees were knocking together. And nice as can be, he said

Did you know your registration is expired by like, nine months?

at which point I proved once again what an idiot I am around cops.

What?!?! Are you kidding me?

I can only attribute this ridiculous response as an indication that I obviously believe all cops are out to play jokes on me, as we have seen once before in this adventure.

At which point he tells me that just going down and getting my car registered would be less money than a citation for it and recommends that I get that taken care of as soon as possible.

And when he walked away, I did a quick self inventory and noted that while my heart was beating a million times a second and my legs were still shaking so bad my knees were knocking together, I had not cried. A personal victory. And as I let out a sigh of relief, my seat belt flew out from underneath my arm and retracted itself back into place.

And remember the referee that lives in my head? He waved his arms and yelled "SAFE" as The Law walked away.

P.S. Have I ever mentioned that I dated a cop once upon a time? A story for another day I suppose.

P.P.S. Always wear your seat belt and drive in accordance to the laws and rules of the road.

P.P.P.S. This is a public service announcement.

P.P.P.P.S. This is a recording.

Keepin' it real. And sometimes legal.

~k rock~