Fights

We don't fight very much. We really don't. Which I love. I mean really, who wants to go their whole life in cycles of being mad at the person that they love?

But I admit that yesterday was not good. We started arguing about a future event, something that is so distant it is not even on the calendar yet. So far away, it is only hypothetical. And yet, we are both so incredibly stubborn that we occasionally "lock horns" and are stuck at an impasse.

What the fight was about is not important. That is not why I chose to tell you about it. I don't want validation, sympathy or anything like that. I want to tell you how it ended.

Did we compromise and come to an agreement? No.

But there we were, argument dismissed(for the current time, who knows if it will come up again) and heading to the movies for our FHE activity. In the darkness of the car as we drove down the street, he reached over and put his hand on my knee.

I'm sorry, he said.

And several blocks passed while I contemplated my feelings.

I'm sorry too, I replied.

Does it change our individual and differing stances on the subject? No.

Did it allow us to move on and enjoy our evening together? Yes.

Can I tell you a secret? Something that I am a teensy bit ashamed of?

He always says it first. He is always ready to make up, apologise and move on. He is always the first to get over it. Even when it he is the one that gets mad, I won't even know what is going on until he apologises for being upset.

He is so much better than I am.

It takes me a while. Time is necessary to ask myself those probing, deeper, sometimes painful questions.

Why am I feeling this way? What response was I wanting? Am I mad at him, or the situation?

And even after searching for those answers, sometimes I am still too overcome with stubborn pride. And I can't say it for a very long time.

But I am working on that. That's why we are on this earth, right? To learn to be better? Some of us just have farther to go than others.

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PS: The movie we saw was somewhat lame. I really tried to like it, I did! It has two of my favorite "up and coming" actors in it, Amy Adams and Matthew Goode, but their comedy timing was just the tiniest bit off. Just my two cents!