And the women were sobbin' sobbin' sobbin' fit to be tied...

Scotland got home from Kentucky last night at about 3:30 in the morning. I woke up and threw my arms around him, and then started crying uncontrollably. Poor guy, he couldn't figure out what was wrong!

But there was nothing wrong. I was just happy he was back home.

Women as a species have the reputation for crying. They cry when something is bad, they cry when something is good. They cry over books and movies, children and elderly, home, family, and work.

Or at least, this is the consensus.

Searching the recesses of my mind, I don't believe I know a woman that doesn't cry at all. And that being said, the male species should be used to it by now. But really, what man deals well with a crying female?

Not very many!

Last night as I was enjoying dinner with my dear friend Kerrie, the topic of our conversation progressed to marriage, and she mentioned how her husband hates it when she cries. Like, for any reason. He hates it.

And I kind of feel bad for her because of that. Sometimes, we just need to cry and it doesn't make it any easier if we get flack about it. I think that it even sort of hinders intimacy with a spouse because if you can't open up and cry around him, who can you cry around?

I went to a play while I was down in Pocatello this weekend and when then ending scene rolled around, while Maria is crying over the body of her beloved Tony, the guy in the row in front of me started shifting uncomfortably in his seat and looking around for an escape route. Over an actress crying in a freaking play!

And I can't tell you the number of times I have heard the expression "Oh for crying out loud" when someone gets irritated. What does that even mean?

Sometimes, it makes me feel better to cry. Sometimes I get so bottled up and that is the only release that lets me down safely. Why does it have to be bad? Why does it make other people uncomfortable?

I know why I get uncomfortable. Because other people crying makes me feel like I am going to start crying. And then I will make someone else uncomfortable.

A vicious circle.

But I don't suppose everyone is like that. I suppose some people feel helpless to "fix" the problem (whatever it is that is making someone cry) and that bothers them.

But whatever it is, I have learned to accept it. I no longer suppress my desire to cry, but I also attempt to leave others out of it. I recognize that it is an entirely personal thing to do, and I don't think that I have the same view of it as I did before. It is not a weakness, it is simply an expression of emotion; whether it be good, bad or ugly.

And last night as the tears were pouring down my face and I was sniffling and sobbing, I remembered that. And he just held me in his arms and smiled down at my tear-stained face. And I just kept crying.

And I am ok with it now. And thankfully, so is he.