Fashion Faux Pas

I have been very frustrated at my lack of new clothing as of late. I look in the closet, and all I see are the same old clothes that I have been wearing for the last two or more years, dull and boring, that I have worn a hundred times by now. Knowing that I couldn’t get in that much trouble for shopping the day before my birthday, I decided that I should go on the hunt for some fresh new looks for the fall. I was aiming for “Sassy and Classy” at the same time. Reinvention was the key…
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Looking for something to entertain myself while I awaited the end of my husband’s work shift, I drove past the Ross store today. It has been a while since I’ve been in there, and occasionally I find a random item of use on a really awesome clearance or a cheap shirt or whatnot. So I maneuvered my way into the parking lot and purposefully entered the store.
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As I strode past the “junior” section I laughed a bit to myself at the pencil sized pant legs, the “baby tees” and the two prepubescent girls who were asking each other for opinions, surely expecting to get more than the standard “that’s hot!” generic response.
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I found myself browsing through a rack of tops when I stopped at a brightly colored one that caught my eye. I held it up to my torso and was amazed at how cute it was, and grateful at the generous amount of length it had. I searched for the tag so that I might discover who the fantastic designer that made such a great shirt was, and was rather surprised at what it said...
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Junior dress
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Ah, that would explain the fashionable pattern and generous length. It was supposed to be a butt grazing pre teen dress. Well that just made me feel about a hundred years old…
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As I continued my search, I next came across a shirt with quite a bit of flouncy material above the torso area. Although it was a great shade of pink, I imagined my husband’s reaction and him asking me “who jiffy popped your chest?” as I modeled my latest purchase. Prudently, I placed it back on the rack.
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Then, I was pleasantly surprised to find a gorgeous sheer black top with classy pearls and chunky chain attached to it. I held it up and was disappointed when I realized it was missing the lining. I flipped through the tops on either side of it hoping to discover the missing second piece when I caught sight of the “designer tag” attached to the sleeve and was stunned to find that it was meant to be worn without a liner. The “Classy and sassy” top turned out to be more “Skimpy and slutty.” How very disappointing.
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I paused for a minute, wondering why I had decided upon this place as my distraction for the day. What kind of crap clothing store is this? I wandered over to the house wares, hoping to find some redeeming deal that would have made my troubles all worth it, and sadly passed over the one armed ballerina statue, the painting of the back of a shirtless woman (maybe she only had Ross to shop at!) and the mis-matched furniture pieces. I realized the futility of my search and exited the store as gracefully as possible, amidst the glowering faces of the cashiers at the front.
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I guess I am cured of my shopping addiction for at least a little while…