Birthday wishes

I called my dad last night to remind him that my birthday is in a week (a week!) and that we needed to plan something to do.

He presented me with a myriad of options.

Camping

Boating

Fourwheeling

Is that what I want for my birthday?

I always experience a slight discombobulation when I have to make birthday plans. I feel guilty that I don't plan to go feed the homeless or do yardwork for the elderly or plan peace talks in Somalia.

I feel like those are the things I should be doing. But instead, I usually want dinner and shopping and presents like some greedy little kid who rips into the gift wrap like the last gulp of oxygen is inside.

And then I feel like a terrible person.

Where was I?

Oh yes, so Dad was asking me what I wanted to do, and I realized that I just want to be with my family for my birthday.

And I am not saying that to earn beauty pageant points (world peace!) or anything like that.

I just want my family back. I want everyone to be smiling and happy and to be in the same room together and have cake and talk and laugh. I want us to sing the happy birthday song really really fast and really off key. How can things have changed so much in just two years?

I keep this video on my phone, not because it is the best video ever, but because of what it reminds me of.