Mornings

6:30 a.m. Alarm goes off. Violently hit the snooze button.

6:35 a.m. Alarm sounds again, snooze is hit again.

6:40 a.m. Alarm rings, open one eye, hit snooze.

6:45 a.m. Alarm. Grumpy. Turn off alarm. Sigh. Sit up in bed.

6:47 a.m. Realize I am sleeping while sitting on the edge of bed. Get up.

6:48 a.m. Trudge wearily to bathroom. Turn on shower.

6:50 a.m. Wait for shower to warm up. Wonder who woman with crazy hair in mirror is. Oh. Me.

6:51 a.m. Get in shower. Immediately get soap in eyes. Scrub face like crazy to wake up.

7:00 a.m. Crawl back into bed, wrapped in towel. Think about going back to sleep. Think about calling in to work. Think about quitting job so I can sleep in. Sigh. Sleep.

7:20 a.m. Realize I really did fall asleep. Scramble out of bed and dash to closet. Choose something to wear that won't make me look like homeless person. Struggle into it while on way to bathroom again.

7:25 a.m. Hastily apply eye makeup. Oopps. Too hasty. Wash face and start again.

7:30 a.m. Blow dry hair while standing on my head. Hope that this time it will actually add some body to my ever flat hair.

7:35 a.m. Stand up and turn off blow dryer. Hair is standing out all over. Run brush through. Sadly discover that hair is as flat as ever. Turn on quick heating straightening iron. Brush teeth.

7:40 a.m. Run straightener through hair. Attempt to iron out kinks in bangs.

7:45 a.m. Dash into bedroom and kneel in front of closet. Toss shoe after shoe behind me as I scramble for my favorite black strappy kitten heels. Can't find them.

7:48 a.m. Grab black flats instead, cell phone, bracelet and ring. Run downstairs to find purse.

7:49 a.m. Realize favorite black heels are in kitchen. Kick off flats and slip into sandals. Grab purse, keys and sunglasses. Dash out back door and run to car.

7:50 a.m. Start car and drive recklessly out of parking lot. Look at clock and panic. Ten minutes to make a fifteen minute drive. Crap.

7:55 a.m. Run two mostly yellow lights. Cut off one car. Hit the gas like it is the Indy 5000 at every light.

7:59 a.m. Pull into parking lot at work, fly out of car and into office.

8:00 a.m. Punch in. Toss purse and other crap on my desk. Sit down at computer and log in. Daze off into distance. Wonder why I am always running late...