The drive

It is dark and I am driving

Thoughts spin through my mind

I worry about everything

The car in the turn lane

The husband at home

The family I love

The children I want

I worry because I can't control

Can't make anything go the way I want it to

Can't change the past

Can't change the hurt

I want to be stronger

I want to be "that woman"

I want so much

My moods come and go

My goals do too

And yet, here I am again

Waiting for something

I am always waiting for something

Something big to change my life

Something big to change me

I am never done with waiting

For as soon as one big thing happens

The next is on the horizon

And I begin waiting again

Preparing for that next part of life

And the in between parts?

They get ignored and pushed aside

I am not unhappy

Please don't misunderstand

I love my life

But I am a "big moment" kind of girl

I am all about accomplishment

and less about working on it

I just want to get there

Get to my destination

I don't want to bother with the ride

That takes much too long

And I don't have time

I don't know why I don't have time

But I don't, so hurry

Hurry back

Hurry here

It's my turn

I'm ready

Not really but I want to be ready

And when it comes? When it finally comes?

And then I will be waiting again