Why I deserve a magic wand

I know, I know. Everyone thinks they deserve a magic wand. But I am really serious! I need one. Let’s see, what are my arguments…

I would only use the magic wand for good. I would never use it when I was in a bad mood, (because really, who could be in a bad mood if they had a magic wand) so there would be no concern about other people not wanting me to have it. I would only use it for myself just a teeny weeny bit, mostly I would use it for others.

My husband would be much happier if our house was clean and all the laundry was done. I promise, I would use it to do that for him.

My cats would love it if the litter box magically cleaned itself every time they used it. They would be happier and healthier if I used my magic wand for that.

My brother would be less overworked and stressed if I used my magic wand to fix my car so he didn’t have to. And he would probably appreciate it if I also used it to install a new car stereo so he doesn’t have to worry about that.

My parents would be so very pleased if I were able to use that magic wand to procure another motor home, so that they wouldn’t be so crowded when Scotland and I join them in camping adventures. And we would probably have to keep it since the last thing they need is another vehicle to worry about.

My sister (the hairstylist) would be so happy if I used that magic wand to give myself long thick hair so that she would have more fun playing with it. It would really be doing her a favor…

My sister (the attorney) would be ecstatic if that magic wand gave her more time with me, by way of a private jet so I can zip on over to Boise any time she needs me.

So you see, I, unlike other unworthy egocentric people would be a commendable recipient of such a prestigious honor.

By the way I would also be willing to fill in when the tooth fairy is out of town, but only if they give me the ability to fly. And not just when I am filling in, but all the time.